i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
