she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
