recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
