Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
