I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize