I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
