Umm I'm too high to move.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
