You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
