Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
