life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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