Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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