If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As shirtless as possible
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
