get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
