sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
