My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
