i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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