Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
