I feel like abortions should bother me more
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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