nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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