I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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