I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
