actually, I'm a sock model
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
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What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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