I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the day after is always just damage control
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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