your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
