i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
