my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Randomize
