he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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