Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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