What a fucking waste of an outfit
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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