She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
