Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize