Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
