Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
