Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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