"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
