What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
