Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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