i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
