i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
