i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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