too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
