i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
