Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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