I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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