Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
