im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
