It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
where are my eyebrows?
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