That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
