well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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