i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
