I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
as a side note pls kill me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
