True but thats because hes a fetus.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
