This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
