it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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