And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
