There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
