you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
