are you still at the devil's house?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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