I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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