Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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