i think my tv is drunk
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
