if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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