do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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