Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize