thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
